Redefining the word and meaning of "beautiful"

There is an issue a lot of my readers and friends ask me about. It's about feeling beautiful in the gym. Do you have the hottest gym clothes? Does your outfit match precisely? Does your hair look okay? What about your make-up? I like a lot of people, used to be so intimidated going into the gym to work out. I was so scared that people were going to look at me in disgust, because quite frankly, I did not have the cutest work out clothes nor did I ever wear make-up or worry about my hair. And the older I get the more I learn that is how it should be. When I first started going to the gym and when I had gained most of my weight, the gym was terrifying for me. I would see all of these beautiful men and women who are already so fit - in their amazing outfits, and even though the were working out, they still looked like they could have been on the cover of a magazine.

What helped me battle through this was pushing myself even harder. I had to believe in myself to lose the weight - I had no choice. This issue was far more than being intimidated by people in the gym, it was about not loving who I was as a person. Where I am now in my life, there is no designer or make-up brand that could ever make me feel as beautiful as I do when I pouring sweat on the StairMill, getting closer to my goals. I want my friends and readers to feel the same. The gym is not the place to care about how your appearance in clothes, hair, or make-up. The gym is the place for you to push yourself and work. Just because you look good does not mean you are beautiful. Beautiful comes from inside, beauty is attained from seeing the positive in everything.

For so long I had huge geeky glasses, wore baggy clothes that never agreed with my body, never knew how to do my hair, and of course, I was overweight. (see right) I longed to have the perfect body, perfect hair, perfect face, and I was never satisfied with my reflection. It's sickening sometimes what people define as "beautiful". Beautiful is finding strength in your weakness. Beautiful is helping someone less fortunate than you. Beautiful is making positive out of something negative. Beautiful is giving more when most would give up. And as crazy as it sounds, the gym, and my journey of losing weight has taught me this.

I learned that according to the media's standards I will never be tall enough to be a "fashion model". I may not have the face to be a Covergirl. I may never have the body to be on Sports Illustrated, but I'm still beautiful. And so are YOU.

If you are in the gym and you do not feel like you are good or attractive enough -- change the way you think. There is no other way it will ever change. I had to step out of the box and look at myself from the outside. I would never want another person to think they are not beautiful because they do not have the perfect clothes, hair, or make-up. So why should I think that way about me? Learn to love yourself for who you truly are. Pushing your limits, surpassing your goals, and never giving up - that is beautiful. That is what helps define you are a person.

When I let go of worrying so much about other people and how my outward appearance may look to them, I truly discovered myself. I have built confidence though some days it's hard, learned to NEVER give up, and 117 pounds lighter feels great. I'm not afraid to tell people the pain I went through when I was growing up because of my looks. I am afraid to show how big I was. I am not ashamed of how I looked when I was younger. I took all of that pain and all of that negativity and I decided I wanted to make myself a better person. I also decided I wanted to help other people who go through this too. Trust me, I know how hard this journey gets and how bad you want to give up sometimes. You 100% have to keep pushing through. To all of you who do not want to go to the gym because you do not feel like you are good enough or you are too scared - GO. This is about your life and your journey. If I can do it, so can you.

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