Last night I went to church for the first time in probably 4 to 5 years. The church is right down the road from where I live. It is named "Elevation". I went to the Blakeney campus here in Charlotte, NC. I first heard about Elevation over a year ago. Something inside of me always wanted to go and try it out. Something felt right about that place. I had been living in Charlotte over a year and periodically thought about going back to church. However, I put it off. So many times I would say "I will go next weekend" or "I will go sometime soon" but I did not go. I work a full time job, I work at my gym part time as well, I train and work out everyday after my regular job, plus I have a home and a cat to take care of myself. So I just didn't "have time".
This past month has been extremely difficult in my life; the stress of work, training and working out all of the time trying to reach my fitness goals, a relationship, and trying to keep up with my family, friends, and have a life. It was all feeling too much for me. I felt overwhelmed, I feel like a failure, and I feel myself breaking down inside. Without going in great detail, I hurt. And I hurt deeply. I wanted to give up on everything.
I knew earlier this week that I would be off of work Sunday- yesterday. I thought to myself "why don't I finally try that church?". God is peace in my life. I feel complete and like everything is going to be okay when I think about God and when I pray. Lately I have felt like I am failing in all aspects of my life, especially my fitness goals. And as this blog shows, fitness and health are some of the most important things to me. So, yesterday morning comes and I get up at 10:15. Church starts at 11:15. I knew I would not be able to make it. Thankfully, there is a 6 PM evening service. I was going to make myself go. With all of the business and chaos in my life, I knew this would be therapy for me. I just did not know how much.
The sermon was about being "Greater". It is a 4 part series. I was immediately drawn to every word I was hearing. I want to be greater. I want to be greater in every aspect of my life; a greater daughter, a greater friend, a greater blog writer, a greater employee- the list could go on. You probably want to be greater too, otherwise you would not be reading this blog entry. I happened to attend the second week of the series. It was about "digging ditches" and I realized how bad I need to get to digging! The sermon focused on these versus from 2 Kings: He then said, God's word; Dig ditches all over this valley. Here’s what will happen—you won’t hear the wind, you won’t see the rain, but this valley is going to fill up with water and your army and your animals will drink their fill. This is easy for God to do; he will also hand over Moab to you. You will ravage the country: Knock out its fortifications, level the key villages, clear-cut the orchards, clog the springs, and litter the cultivated fields with stones.”
I will explain this as best as I can and the best I know how (which OK, may not be that great). These men were fighting a war and needed water severely. So they told God to give them rain. They had not been confiding in God, but rather used him as a last resort since they had tried everything else. God did not give them the water right away. Instead, He told them to dig ditches. Weary, weak, and dehydrated, the last thing they wanted to do was more work. Especially when they didn't know if their prayer would happen. They had to have faith and work hard for it, and hopefully, God would send them their miracle.
Over the past month, as things have slowly digressed in my life, I have to just prayed to God for a miracle in my life over and over and over. Things are so bad and I need God to fix it all and right now. I did not give God the adequate "thanks" when things were fine, but the second it all fell apart I clung to him and told him to fix everything. But it doesn't work like that. I have to put in the work, the prayer, the positive attitude, and the faith into trying to make myself Greater, even when it gets to be too much to bear. As I was listening to Paster Steven preach about digging your ditch to get your "rain" I could not stop thinking about how that pertains to every part of normal life- especially a weight loss journey.
We have it in our mind that we want to lose weight, be healthy, be more fit... But we want it now. You feel like "I have worked out and ate healthy for a week straight now, I should be down 20 pounds!" and when that doesn't happen, we get discouraged and want to give up. It is really hard because you have to change so much: your eating, food prep, exercise, getting plenty of sleep, and making sure you keep up with every other aspect you have going on in your life. If you want to change your life to lose weight and get healthy, it is not going to be easy, that is why so much of the population eats poorly and is obese. However, this change for your life is absolutely worth it. If you want the results, put in the work. If you want your rain, dig your ditch. It really is that simple. Plus, if you stop and give up, what good does that do?
It's Monday, it's a brand new day and a brand new start for you. Make the most of it, and work towards your goals. Everyday "hole you dig" is a step closer for what you want. If you are not a Christian, or do not believe in God, then I ask for you to keep faith in yourself and believe that you can do it.
As I was leaving the service, we were handed shovels to symbolize "a week of digging". I have made it my mission not only for this week, but for here on out to stop praying for God to just "magically" fix everything, but rather I will continue to work towards my goals, what I want to do, and most importantly as positive attitude and outlook. I will also keep this in mind with my weight loss journey, this isn't something that will happen overnight or after a month.
I have my shovel ready and I am ready to dig hard this week:
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