An Epiphany

If there is one thing I have learned recently it's that training and staying fully dedicated to strenuous work outs and dieting is extremely hard to do. More so extremely hard to do while working a full-time job and taking care of my own apartment! I struggled with this a lot in August and the first of September and quite frankly I got off track a lot. Sitting at a desk dealing with money and client accounts all day that have endless problems and never ending new situations can be mentally exhausting. Furthermore, coming home and having dishes that need to be done, laundry, dusting, vacuuming, organizing, errands, etc. It is endless!

For a little while I just thought I was going just going to give up. I'm diligently trying to change career paths, train for my Figure show, and figure out my life a little more. It's been so difficult. You know what I decided to do?

Take one step at a time.

I was feeling sorry for myself about my job and always being so tired. Giving myself excuses to eat junk and not exercise, but that was making me miserable too-- after the 10 minutes of enjoyment while eating. But guess what? So Figure Competitors and Bodybuilder's have it worse than I do!

The start to all change is a positive attitude.

Yeah - I have a job that I do not want as my career but I am working hard to change that; at least I have money to take care of my beautiful apartment and I just have to keep trying. Yeah - living on your own takes a lot of hard work, but it is so worth it! Independence is something I hope to never have to give up. My apartment feels like my home and is my sanctuary. I am also a neat freak and it has to be spotless (haha) but I really take pride in it because it is my first "home". I also realize that though I am tired after work - hitting the gym for a hard work out helps relief my stress, gets my endorphins going, and betters my attitude tremendously! Healthy eating may not always be the funnest thing to do, but your body, skin, and mind feel so better. Another thing I slacked on was morning cardio for which the only excuse is laziness. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I always get 8 hours of sleep a night, but even still, I wanted to be lazy. Morning cardio helped with my weight loss a lot and made me feel alert and happy throughout the but I was just giving up because of the negative mood that was becoming me!

"Urban Active", my gym opened 3 weeks ago, finally! I have been doing the StairMaster everyday. I am seeing a great improvement, already. The StairMaster is the single most hardest piece of cardio equipment I have used (besides the Jacob's Ladder which I do not have access to anymore) and I have gained so much strength. When I previously used the Stairmaster I would do a "Fat Burner" program on level 8 for 10 minutes and that would be killing me. Two weeks ago I started using the StairMaster for 20 minutes a day on a "Calorie Burner" program and half of it is level 10 and half of it is level 20. Granted, after I feel like I am going to throw up and my face is as red as cherry, but give me about 3 minutes and I feel perfect again. It is amazing and breath taking to see and feel yourself accomplishing goals YOU SET FOR YOURSELF. My new work out on the StairMaster is hard and sometimes I am like "I'm done for the day, I can't do it anymore". But I keep pushing myself and I keep telling myself the pain hurts so good and I keep thinking about my dreams.

I really want to keep on this path and finally become a Figure Competitior/Model and write a book about my journey - even though I may have to work full-time, run all of errands, and take care of my apartment. I need to show how bad I want it and be willing to work hard - that is how Champions are made. Thousand's of people do this everyday, so why can't I? It just takes dedication and belief in yourself.

The morning I got up at 6:30 a.m., fed my cat, went to the gym did my 30 minutes of cardio on the Elliptical, came back got ready and cute for work, cleaned up the apartment and made the bed, sorted through bills that are due on the 1st, called my dad to arrange the picking up of my contacts, and got to work 5 minutes early! It has been a great day so far and sometimes that scares me! But, I know every day will not be like this, but I can damn sure try to make it.

Tonight I have another 40 minutes of cardio and an ab work out. I am so ready for the StairMaster... mmm!